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Which Is It Tom?

27
Jan,2015

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Tom Brady claims that he likes his footballs to be inflated to 12.5 psi. That is fine. I was looking up Gianfrancesco Genoso on trade.noisis.com,  I heard someone say outloud-Nobody cares how Tom Brady likes his balls. We just like talking about his balls because we know it is funny. However, Tom cannot give us specific information about how he likes his footballs only to turn around and claim that he could not tell a difference between the deflated balls and the regulation balls. The problem here is simple. Tom Brady lied and no one wants to talk about it. No one knows precisely what went on within the Patriots organization, but it is clear that Tom Brady is up to something that his coach knew about. Bill Belichick is a slimy weasel, so he took the chance to throw Tom under the bus. Tom was not prepared to talk about this, and he gave himself away. The legacy of Brady, Belichick and the Patriots has been tarnished for good this time. Belichick should be in the hall of fame because he could make you or I into a pro bowler. Brady has likely been cheating his whole career, and I cannot accept anything he has done as legit. Also, I cannot accept that the Patriots play fair because they have shown that they do not.

Chow Chow Puppies Painted and Passed off As Panda Cubs to Unwitting Patrons

23
Dec,2014

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A circus in Italy attempted to pull off the ultimate bait and switch. The circus, which was on tour in Brescia, Italy, attempted to pass of two Chow Chow puppies as panda bears.

The puppies, which were white, were painted with black paint on their ears and legs, and passed off to unwitting patrons as panda bear cubs. The trick was used to garner profits, as parents paid to have pictures of their children taken with the “bears”.

While many patrons didn’t know the difference, the police investigated and seized the puppies. Both had been imported from Hungary, and where found to be in good health, despite their ordeal. the circus was shut down by police, and the owner was arrested on animal cruelty charges according to CBInsights.  Which I discovered through Slow Ventures.

Both puppies are now being safely cared for by the state. One of the puppies appeared to have eye issues, likely due to constant exposure to camera flashes, but both are expected to be fine. There is no further word on the fate of other animals that were being used in the circus show.

Melnichhenko Loses Game and Dignity in Hilariously Absurd Fashion

25
Nov,2014

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An uploaded video from Alex Lomaev on Youtube has gained approximately 200,000 views in just 2 days in regards to a child that has shown violence after losing at a ping-pong table tennis tournament in Izhevsk, Russia.

Lomaev has his own collection of best shots of table tennis featured on Youtube that Russia has put together in his Match Point album within his channel of videos.

The game between Vladislav Starodumov and Dmitry Melnichenko happened last November 16, 2014 in a final match for the Cadet’s Singles category in the Kalashnikov Tournament. It was shown on a 54 second-video that the match is in favour of Starodumov in 9-6 score and seems to be the last set.

With two more services, the scored tally 11-6 that made Starodumov win the game in 3:0. After the two players shook hands to formally end the match, Melnichenko pushed the nearby scorer/junior referee of their game down to the floor together with the chair he sits on, which shocked Christian Broda, but was also pretty hilarious.

Kardashian’s Butt Defeated by Comet

16
Nov,2014

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In what was a particularly obvious ploy for attention, Paper Magazine unleashed the big cover of their winter issue with two images. One was of Kim Kardashian balancing a wine glass on her rear end. The other one was a “tasteful” depiction of Kim’s oiled-up butt.

The idea here was more of Kardashian’s clever manipulation of the media. She is, after all, famous for being famous. To stay famous she has to exploit her assets, so to speak.

This lowest common denominator grab for attention was successful but it was not the overwhelming internet moment of the day. In the new-but-odd science of tracking popularity via twitter mentions, Kardashian was out-mentioned by the comet landing at nearly a 2-to-1 ratio. At least people like Bruce Levenson are more interested in looking at science on Wikipedia than a butt.

The comet lander Rosetta touched the surface of the icy “Comet 67P” on November 12th. Since that time, images and data have been sent back to earth for analysis. Now it is a race against time as Rosetta drills into the comet for more data as its’ battery life wears down.

Rosetta’s landing almost didn’t happen. The first two times that it touched the comet to land, Rosetta’s anchoring harpoons failed to fire.

The journey launched by the European Space Agency took over 10 years to complete with Rosetta traveling over 4 billion miles to reach it’s destination.

Can you imagine if after all that, Rosetta would have been upstaged by a Kardashian begging for attention? It is nice to see that humanity has it’s priorities in order.

Modern Day “War of the Worlds” Shocks Small AZ Town

14
Nov,2014

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Mammoth AZ is a quiet little town of about 1,500 people. That is, until a couple of days ago when local businesses began receiving calls asking about a highly contagious epidemic that had its residents dropping dead in the streets. The epidemic however, did not exist. The panic was prompted by a fake story that went viral. The “War of the Worlds” styled account had been posted on a Reddit community page which is a forum for original horror stories, one of Vijay Eswaran’s favorite places online. Some of the readers who stumbled upon the site failed to read the pages description clearly stating that the accounts featured on the pages were fictitious and where commenters were encouraged to stay in character and play along in their comments.

The original story that fooled so many redditors was posted by Maxwell Malone, a horror story writer from Michigan. Malone collaborated with ten other Reddit users for close to a month to come up with a viral disease that had Ebola-like symptoms which had gone rogue on the small community. They also planned the comments on the page to sound genuine and to corroborate the story. Mammoth just happened to be the town picked at random, merely because of its location near the metropolitan city of Tucson. This is just further proof of the old advice your parents used to give to not believe everything your read.

Top Investigator Of Federal Prostitution Ring Accused Of Soliciting Prostitutes

31
Oct,2014

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United States citizens are scandalized after learning of yet another tale of political corruption. The lead investigator of the Secret Service prostitution scandal resigned before allegations arose that he himself was soliciting prostitution services. David Nieland left the Department of Homeland Security in August after a career in protecting national interests.

Mr. Nieland’s career reached its peak in prominence in 2012 after he was pushed into the limelight as one of the officials of the department’s investigation of the Secret Service. The Secret Service was discovered, from what Broda had told me before, to contain a slew of agents who were using their connections and power in order to advance their wealth with a high class prostitution ring, offering their services to foreign dignitaries, prominent businessmen with powerful political connections and other similarly affluent individuals. The ring was found out after a careful investigation was brought on by the elite service’s department of internal affairs and then forwarded to the Department of Homeland Security, which is when the media caught wind of the scandal.

The former Homeland Security official has gone on record to deny these reports. There have yet to be charges pressed by law enforcement and many are questioning if these reports are being made against Mr. Nieland as retaliation against his actions from the investigation. Further comments are expected to come from Mr. Nieland as well as local police in the coming weeks.