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Tough Parenting In The Hood

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This entry was posted on Friday, June 13th, 2008 at 11:41 pm and is filed under Images, Kids, Signs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

74 comments so far

Jess
 1 

Props to the mother. Good on her.

June 14th, 2008 at 1:37 am
Lefeb
 2 

but why would someone laugh at this?

June 14th, 2008 at 2:44 am
tracy
 3 

this mama needs an award, good for her!

June 14th, 2008 at 3:14 am
tomiddes
 4 

Not particularly funny. But I hoped it worked (with the stealing problem).

June 14th, 2008 at 3:22 am
Erp
 5 

He didn’t need to carry that sign, in order to send out that message…

June 14th, 2008 at 4:59 am
Anon
 6 

Fuck off with your unfunny captions, retarded faggot

June 14th, 2008 at 5:29 am
Anonymous
 7 

That’s not worth a laugh. That’s worth applauding the mom and smacking the kid.

June 14th, 2008 at 6:40 am
John Thomas
 8 

Wow, talking about tough love!

JT
http://www.Ultimate-Anonymity.com

June 14th, 2008 at 7:34 am
 9 

Ya know what? Worse could happen, and the mom is getting some fresh air too. Quality dame!!!

June 14th, 2008 at 8:45 am
 10 

My Dad made me return stolen crayons when I was 6. It was so embarrassing, I stole maybe twice again in my life and stopped.

June 14th, 2008 at 9:49 am
jad
 11 

The captions are awful. They’re the equivalent of canned laughter on sitcoms. Whoever added the is an idiot, they almost ruin the pictures.

June 14th, 2008 at 10:01 am
René
 12 

He’s trying to find a girlfriend like his mom. One that falls for the bad guys.

June 14th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Jung
 13 

If it keeps the kid out of trouble in the future it’s only a small price to pay. Props to the mother

June 14th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
 14 

I’ve seen this done a few times in the news lately. I wonder if it’s effective; it seems it would be. Kudos to the parents who do this. I hate theft.

June 14th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
/b/Anon
 15 

Good on the mother. Kid got pwned.

June 14th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
 16 

for those of you whining about the captions- that’s probably exactly what they said.
Bitches.

June 14th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Mark
 17 

I’m not convinced this is a good method. I just don’t know to be honest, but I’d say that someone that steals doesn’t value property and perhaps doesn’t value other people. So an example where he himself is totally devalued in public might seem to further reinforce the problem. And further humiliation by mentioning his dad in prision. I can see this backfiring big time!

June 14th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
 18 

The mom is doing the right thing. Her husband is already in prison. Not anymore.

June 14th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Chris
 19 

I saw something else like this on the news. A kid was smoking pot, and his mom made him stand out by the freeway with a sign that said ‘I love smoking pot and getting caught with it’. I have to wonder if stuff like this actually works. At any rate, its pretty well deserved.

June 14th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
The1CalledJ
 20 

This is not funny or something to laugh at.

June 14th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
tricia
 21 

I would smack my mom if she made me do this. I’ve never smacked my mom though, don’t judge me. I’m just saying….

June 14th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
kiera
 22 

Every stereotype of black boys and men wrapped up in one picture. How very sad.

June 14th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
 23 

this is the epitome of good parenting.

http://www.dbmlabs.com

June 14th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Jeff
 24 

This is terrible! What a crappy mother. The punishment may seem funny and effective but give me a break! This kid is obviously not getting enough parenting as it is so this stunt is sure to only aggravate him even more and his actions will simply escalate to where he’s stealing cars, guns, drugs….who knows what else. This is the worst kind of parenting there is. Kids need constant, persistent structure. Not this! The thinking behind it is that he’ll all of a sudden realize what he did was wrong and that will set him straight… seriously. Does anyone believe that? This is a desperate act by a mother who has limited parenting skills. All the neglect this kid has faced before this act will easily outweigh this display of inadequate parenting. Awful, just awful! And all these people who are praising the mother…. god help you. Open a book, take a look around you, ask someone who knows. This is shit!

June 14th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Troy
 25 

Jeff, obviously you have no kids. She did exactly right and kudos to her for teaching the brat a lesson.

June 14th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Mark
 26 

Troy, I have kids and agree with Jeff. This is desperate parenting. It’s understandable, but this kid is being made to carry the ‘anger’ of the mother, and obviously for a lot of the people commenting here. But it’s not right, all the same. Bad actions should bring telling consequences, but what the mother has ‘taught’ her son here is that ‘it’s okay to act out your anger in the world’ and to utterly humiliate a human being publicly. I can see that humiliation being delivered to another member of the public on the end of a gun barrel in the not too distant future.

June 14th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
 27 

whereas i get the point she was TRYING to make here, i have to strongly disagree with the execution of it. Re-enforcing poor self image is never good parenting…even when it is meant as a (positive?) learning tool. not to mention the stereotypes these two images perpetuate.

June 15th, 2008 at 12:37 am
 28 

One more thing….what exactly did this kid do or steal to ‘earn’ such a punishment? for the people that comment on this, in favor or against, that follow their opinion up with some reference to future ‘drug using/stealing/selling, car theft and or violent crimes (primarily with guns i’ve noticed), i have to ask…if he was white would you make the same association? im not trying to start some huge debate about race relations because it is an obvious fact that it is ridiculous to anyone who follows the news. i am just asking those of you who thought it or commented thusly to consider why…and truthfully, would you hold those same views for other races (including your own)?

June 15th, 2008 at 1:28 am
D-Man
 29 

This poor child! It;s not his fault he steals, ITS SOCIETY’S FAULT. He’s just a victim.

He should be given disability benefits as he obviously suffering from ADD, ADHD, PTSD, ODD, ASS and other problems.

(that would sure soothe my self-loathing guilt)

June 15th, 2008 at 10:30 am
 30 

if she just cut off his hand he might have a problem stealing again

June 15th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Kevin
 31 

Power to the mother.
The sad thing is that if she tried that here in the Uk, she would be the one hauled before a judge for breaching her son’s human rights.

June 15th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Misfit
 32 

I’ll be blunt. Troy, you, on the other hand, seem to have little-to-no experience with adults who had that kind of upbringing.

I have. Both in myself, and many others I know with similar backgrounds. (We kind of gravitated towards each other in school.) The end result of that parenting style, along with the good old fashioned belt to the behind, is essentially a feeling of alienation, and low self worth. As Mark, Riot, and Jeff have indicated.

Honestly, if you can’t even trust your own mother, (which, btw, is the lesson that sticks the MOST with that style of parenting) who can you trust? And, if you can’t trust anyone, what reason do you have for NOT taking advantage of situations as they come to you?

To be honest, I’ve been called enough degrading things by my own family to tune it all out. I’ve been hit enough times that the pain fades shortly after it sets in. You learn to ignore it, and all it does is give you a nice little well of frustrated rage. The kind you want to take out on whoever is available. And I did. On my siblings (who did the same to me btw, it was a mutually parasitic relationship), pets, friends…

It’s taken me a long time to figure out that it wasn’t supposed to be that way, and during that time, I’ve made some serious mistakes, as have many of my peers. All those fun things that are exactly what those punishments are intended to stop. I’m not proud of it. Most of the time, I avoid even discussing that part of my past. However, when people start going “yeah, teach that kid a lesson” with crap like this, I kind of feel obliged to point out that the parent would be teaching the wrong one.

It took people around me who knew when and how to set stable boundaries to break the pattern. THAT is good parenting, and THAT is the goal of punitive measures.

And that right there shows why it’s bad parenting. When you have to go through it a second time, it means the first time didn’t work.

Pathetic all around if you ask me, and I don’t entirely exclude myself in that judgment. Then again, what was it I said earlier about self-worth?

Good luck with your kids, and I don’t mean that in any smarmy self-righteous, or sarcastic way. Parenting is tricky business. Anyone who takes it up needs all the luck & support they can get.

June 15th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Cindy
 33 

This is not a bad thing. If this kid really did steal and if his dad really is in prison, that mothers options are pretty limited. I had a friend who’s tween daughter was flunking math not because she couldn’t do it but because she couldn’t be bothered. My advise to him and his wife? Well, they had to be willing to follow through on the threat just in case but… tell their daughter that if she flunks one more quarter, they will start sitting in on her class, next to her, and she has to explain to the class why her mommy or daddy is there. My friend is like ‘the school would never allow that!’. Ha! You are the parent, you have rights, you would be allowed as long as you made it clear you wouldn’t talk. Well, they made the threat to the daughter and made sure she realized they were serious. And she raised her grade to a ‘C’. Not the same as above but similar psychology. This woman has every right to humiliate her kid if it keeps him out of jail or from doing something stupid that could end up with him dead. Priorities, people.

June 16th, 2008 at 1:00 am
Lucy
 34 

This is a Great Mum. The world has got to go back to some form of punishment. Stuff these do gooders they harm their kids more by not dealing with them the way this mum has but she has resorted to humiliation otherwise she gets busted for physical abuse. These human rights people are sickening they’ve gone too far.

June 16th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Leah
 35 

To Jeff and his “it’s the parents fault” thing.

Parents of American teenagers and even young adults have been doing what you say to do, the whole, “staying close, watching more, being more involved in their childrens lives” to get their kids out of trouble, and yet, crime rate is up?

So kudos for the mom for not doing it the same way everyone else is doing it, maybe her son stopped stealing like daddy afterwards!

June 16th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Legoles
 36 

It is a dangerous tactic… I hope it was a large study by the mother before to do this and she was able to made undesrtand his son the reason of it, so if it isn’t, maybe his boy doesn’t change and in more he hate his mother….

June 16th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
 37 

you know what??
you are all a bunch of dumb fuckin cocksuckers!
fuck you all.

June 16th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Angry Roy's mom
 38 

Roy, watch your mouth before I make you stand outside with a sign telling everyone how disrespectful you are!

*smack*

June 16th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
...
 39 

this is not even funny.

June 17th, 2008 at 9:14 am
C
 40 

Why are people complaining that this isn’t even funny? Is it funny when your kid steals and your husband’s in prison?!!?

Mark - you are a twat. Why condemn the mother for humiliating the kid? He humiliated HIMSELF by stealing.

Riot - what 2 images are perpetuated here? “Steal” and “prison”. Good connection. And is it a black thing? Nope - I’m white and I’d do the same as this mom did.

June 17th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
cdb
 41 

I completely agree that this is totally unfair to the child. I mean all he did was violate property rights why should we inflict emotional harm. Its definitely a better idea to just beat him senseless.. oh wait they lock you up for hitting your kids now.

Seriously, a SINGLE mother is stressed for time and although Im sure levels of neglect beyond what many of the kids from the burbs experience are present in this situation the fact that she took the time to do this compared to just ignoring it aka the easy way out is admirable. That means she is interested and involved in her sons future.

Does being punished make people believe they have the right to punish? No, so why would being humiliated make this child think he should do the same under different circumstances. Generally when something bad happens to me I learn that I should avoid doing it to others. But that is the whole problem, some people never learn the lesson that causing others pain is wrong and should be avoided if at all possible.

Traditional punishment techniques for children have short term consequence and effect them little in terms of HOW they make decisions. The avoidance of negative stimulus aka punishment is the most effective way to prevent a specific behavior while positive reinforcement is the best way to reward good behavior. These techniques must be used in conjunction to achieve desirable behavior.

People are lazy, so we take the course of least resistance in all situations on a grander scale. Some people aren’t able to look at that big picture so they resort to crime to solve short term problems. Most of us realize that criminal activity will result in negative stimulus that outweighs the benefit of the immediate gratification offered by crime. So we get jobs save money etc to achieve our goals. This is because of the punishment /reward system of behavior modification. What about humiliation is unacceptable, that is indeed what physical discipline imparts. Humiliated by being overpowered and outranked is not better than shame induced by admitting your mistakes. Obviously the child did not fear the stimulus in the past that was intended to curb that kind of behavior, so a different approach was needed. If one of you out there knows the secret punishment reward system that always works for every person in every situation you should contact some sociologist so that it can be implemented in our penal system which has the highest rate of recidivism in the world.

June 17th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Ginny
 42 

Hooray for the Mom! While it might not be the finest day in parenting it will make an impression upon this impressionable young man. I hope anyone who sees him either with the sign or without will tease him enough to make him stop. Face it he’s at the age when even being seen with a “parental unit” is cause to turn and walk the other way. I wish more parents had the ability to stand up and do something instead of all the threats and talking.

June 17th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
forthgb
 43 

mark, jeff, riot, et al., don’t seem to realizee the god awful pressures of single mom parenting in the inner city. it’s bad enough trying to raise a child to be right and do right in a prosperous situation. even there, school/neighborhood/buddies are fighting your for his allegiance. have any of you critics thought that she might have resorted to this after other methods fail? shame may not be a nicey nice middle-class WASP method of child raising but it sure as blue blazes is an effective one. ask any Japanese mother, for example my late much missed MIL. or from what I hear, any Jewish mother.

June 18th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Meh
 44 

How about a sign for the Mom

“I got knocked up by a man that’s now in prison and thought I could raise a kid by myself”

June 18th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
malak
 45 

great jo mom :D

June 20th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Bob Barker
 46 

“Help control the pet population. Have your pets spay or neutered.”

June 23rd, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Oh Yeah!
 47 

Touched a nerve, huh?

June 24th, 2008 at 1:21 am
clairesmom
 48 

Being a parent is freaking hard - she’s probably at her wit’s end with this kid. More power to ya, momma!

June 25th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Quase
 49 

Good for him. He will have a red face now, but a better future later…

June 28th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
joey
 50 

Uh… it was funny without the borderline-racist little subtitles.

June 29th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
 51 

I certainly understand the reaction of some posters here… of shock! But, this is only due to the fact that most likely - you have never needed to parent so strongly and do not understand wht it is like, to need to do so!

This is hilarious and serious parenting all rolled into one:-)

A real mother in the house! You go girl…

Write On!

June 30th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Mary
 52 

My now 15 year old son had sticky fingers as a kid. He even stole from his grandmother! Before you jump to conclusions, these problems began to surface while he was a toddler and being raised in a two-parent family.

Fast forward a few years and his father and I divorced and I remarried. My son did well in our blended family for a while, but did not adapt well to the city we moved to. He asked to move in with his father, and his father and I worked it out.

Less than a month later, at age 11, he was arrested for stealing a bag of candy from a convenience store. Lucky for him, it is a small town where everyone knows everyone, so the police called his father. And his father did the most effective thing -

He made our son wait. He didn’t run to his rescue.

Then, he posted the mugshot (yes, I have a copy) on the fridge as a reminder.

Guess what? My son hasn’t stolen since. It scared him and embarrassed him enough that he realized the stupidity of his actions.

Being in therapy didn’t help him. Being in a stable home didn’t help. Being arrested and forced to face his bad behavior did.

That’s what this mother is doing. How do you know that she didn’t tell the boy exactly what she was doing and why? And I hope it worked. Yes, it could backfire. So can anything we do as parents. But it’s a chance you have to take.

If we don’t make our kids take responsibility for their actions, good and bad, they will continue in the awful downward spiral we as a society are currently witnessing.

July 11th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
 53 

This Mom Rocks!

July 11th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
CM
 54 

It works because if people didn’t laugh, it would have no effect. The fact that its online, a constant reminder to not steal. Not just an embarrassing event in the past.

I am so tired of all the touchy-feely BS going around. People arent made of sugar, we dont melt in the rain. And while your at it, stop pretending that humans don’t have an instinctual fear-based preference for people that look and sound like us. Reality isn’t going to change just because you keep repeating stuff over and over. I’m not suggesting that people should go around causing physical harm, but the day racism is gone is the day the whole planet screwed themselves the same color of tan, and then we’ll just find something else to argue about.

July 11th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Azy
 55 

I agree with tough love, but humiliating a child is not good parenting. How about making the kid to work at quarter wages to repay that which he has stolen? That would instill not only a value of property but also help foster a growing work ethic, two things children need to succeed as adults.

For those of you who applaud this mother, whether you have children or not, you have either not lived the life of humiliation and degradation, or you have and have yet to realise the damage it’s done to you. Humiliation and emotional trauma are not reliable means of discipline. They teach nothing above consequence, if they teach that. Most children who grow up in an environment of emotional abuse, which humiliation is, will not transcend its effects. Rather than learning not to repeat offenses, they simply learn how to repeat them more efficiently.

Take it from me, one who grew up in an environment of degradation, humiliation and abuse. I learned how not to get caught, and that lesson was all I learned. Accountability, responsibility, respect and consequence were all things I learned on my own much later. Sadly, I’m one of the few who actually care enough to bother; the rest simply perpetuate the cycle.

July 13th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
kfritz
 56 

Let’s hope it keeps the kid out of the slammer and gives him a chance to get his life on the rails. Public shaming can be efficacious. But humiliating him with the taint/memory of a father SHE chose is self-indulgence, a bit of petty spite.

July 14th, 2008 at 1:11 am
 57 

lol black people and their signs

July 30th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
lol
 58 

black people always steal

August 1st, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Ann Hashbarger
 59 

I wish more mothers were like this!

August 4th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
 60 

ROFL

August 8th, 2008 at 8:59 am
who cares
 61 

the pics arent funny, but I’m giving a thumbs-up for the comments. I agree with the guy that said the subtitles are retarded. Also, this thread may have set a web record for most posts without anyone yelling ’shopped’

August 17th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Nice
 62 

Nice, she’s teaching him a lesson and when he grows up he should be damned grateful she didn’t give up on him.

August 18th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Zaynab
 63 

You know, Those people who think this is unfair probably dont have children or have children who will grow up to be serial killers. Humiliation? Thats the least that kid could pay, In some countries he would have his hand chopped off, perhaps that would solve the theft problem in America if we started chopping hands off. But instead we send men to prisons feed them 3 square meals a day give them the option to buy a tv and watch it, What the hell kind of detterrent is that? This woman is saving her son God bless her for that!

August 19th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
JP
 64 

Epic Parenting

August 25th, 2008 at 12:12 am
Ridiculous
 65 

I think that all of you that are ranting about this being bad parenting need to take a look at the real world. If this kid had been 18, and had stolen, say, a car, not only his image but his name would have been all over the news. It would have then been on the Internet forever, branding him for all time as a thief (and for those that disagree, tell me that as an employer you would hire someone who is a convicted thief if you didn’t either have to or know him and his situation personally).
This woman made her child understand that actions have consequences; ones that may not be pleasant and that may affect the rest of your life. She did not, however, identify him by name. His peers and neighbors knew who he was, and that was enough.
Every time you tell a child “No,” you are creating a resentment against you. Is that always emotional child abuse? Of course not! You are teaching the child that there are things they can’t do because society doesn’t allow them. If you simply let a child do whatever they want, you have failed as a parent. You have ceased to teach, and are simply an enabler. Sometimes, the lesson has to be harsh for the kid to understand it. Maybe this woman just didn’t want her kid going to jail (or juvi) and instead chose a different method. I imagine it was effective. Was he mad at his mom? Probably. But that is not and should not be the criteria for emotional abuse. He was not randomly humiliated for no reason; he was made to do something humiliating in response to his own actions. If she had, with no cause (actually, for any reason), made him stand on the street with a sign reading “I am a loser,” then you would have a case. As it is, you fail to understand the difference between punishment and abuse.

August 29th, 2008 at 4:09 am
 66 

is this for real?? i’m not laughing!!

September 18th, 2008 at 6:22 am
ln
 67 

Absolutely awesome. Whoever says this mom doesn’t know best is a moron.

September 24th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Briana
 68 

heheha
i agree with jeff and anon
troy i feel bad for your kids =(

November 3rd, 2008 at 12:41 am
jkld
 69 

I applaud this woman — well done Mom !!

November 7th, 2008 at 10:29 am
myviobot
 70 

I wonder if some of you would say it was good parenting if it were a middle class white mother and her white son in suburbia. I think it is interesting how the objects of the picture are socially accepted as a norm for black neighborhoods.

November 17th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
jack
 71 

This would of never happened if she got with a white man. We stick around to raise our kids and make sure they dont end up like this.

December 2nd, 2008 at 8:57 am
Broken
 72 

You know what? I grew up in a home so horrifying, nobody’s believed it on the rare occasion that I’ve decided to talk about it.

I was a horrible child as a result. It wasn’t until I dealt with the ugly consequences that assaulted the pride I’d built up to try to keep myself safe..that the cycle of my stupid was broken.

I didn’t become a productive adult until every single pretense I’d built around myself was shattered. That’s what it takes. This mom is right on.

December 2nd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Broken
 73 

as for how I would feel if it was a middle class white mom that did it,

the same.
who cares what color the kid is…YOU’RE the one making this a racial issue. It wouldn’t be if you didn’t turn it into that.

December 2nd, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Tamara
 74 

This mother did exactly what she should have. You guys don’t think he deserves to be punished for stealing? Thats stupid. At least she didn’t beat him. I’m white and I would have done the exact same thing to my kid. She shouldn’t be shunned, the kid fucked up, not her.

December 12th, 2008 at 11:34 am

6 Trackbacks/Pings

  1. meneame.net    Jun 14 2008 / 4am:

    No puedo creer que me estén haciendo hacer esto… [humor]…

    Curiosa estampa de un nino sujetando un cartel a los ojos de su madre. En inglés, traducciòn patatera en el primer comentario….

  2. Democrat=Socialist    Jun 14 2008 / 4pm:

    MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO……

    Close this WindowBookmark and Share This Page Save to Browser FavoritesAskbackflipblinklistBlogBookmarkBloglinesBlogMarksBlogsvineBUMPzee!CiteULikeco.mmentsConnoteadel.icio.usDotNetKicksDiggdiigodropjack.comdzoneFacebookFarkFavesFeed Me LinksFriendsite…

  3. What will make you a good/bad parent? - Page 3 - Desi-Mag Forums    Jul 28 2008 / 10am:

    [...] assertive, loudmouthed, psychos. ya, that’s a good way of putting it. re: ‘excluding blacks’: Tough Parenting In The Hood | WorthaLaugh.com __________________ Fantasy says: girls are weird cos they’re stupid and they have no sense of [...]

  4. PlugIM.com    Aug 27 2008 / 6am:

    Tough parenting in the hood…

    This kid gets in trouble for stealing, so his mom makes him hold up a funny sign….

  5. Anonymous    Aug 29 2008 / 6am:

    Tough parenting in the hood…

    This kid gets in trouble for stealing, so his mom makes him hold up a funny sign….

  6. pligg.com    Aug 29 2008 / 7am:

    Tough parenting in the hood…

    This kid gets in trouble for stealing, so his mom makes him hold up a funny sign….

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